Where to start? Writing is a way to heal? I like writing? I think I am a good writer? I want to share my story? I need validation? I want others to understand? I want to better understand? I have novels in me? I could feel free if I just wrote some of this down?

I don’t know. I don’t know what is the reason(s) but something in me says write, write now, right now. So, just now, I opened my laptop and started to write.

I am already ashamed and embrarrassed. I want to pre-emptively apologize for the what I write. Will it sound self grandizing? Will it be embarassing? Will it be harsh on others and make me look like I am playing the “victim”? Will it be truthful? Do I even know the truth?

At some point, its like “Fuck it”, I may have another 40 years of life or I may have one hour. I don’t know. I won’t know. Would it be okay with all of this in mind if I wrote down what I know to be true? Maybe no one will even read this and it won’t matter.

So, let’s write. Just write, just now.